And words can seem so empty
and the world can continue its journey
but at this moment
it s all i have
it s nothing
it s everything
and all i have to share
it s me
it s me
and it s all for you
now
in time
it s now
where i am
where i am is where i will be
and you will be too

Life can get so weird..I guess that's why it s called life. Every experience brings something that deepens one further in a subtle way. It brings out that love you have for creation deep down under just a little bit, along with it polishes you, like a piece of coal down in the pressure filled underground, with each day as it just inches towards becoming a diamond for eternity. And there are catalysts to do speed up the process, like the kriya and meditation....and all the carbon has an equal probablility of being the diamond, with God's grace it might get picked. But the carbon or coal trapped there is as important as the diamond... Each of them plays its own role...But why are they there, those potenial diamonds, those half done diamonds, the coal....Underneath, they re all equal....they re the same...It doesnt matter, the only thing they can do is do the role they are present for.. But I wish to know. ...why am i here? I wish to see, hear, touch, feel, taste...be....the divine..and understand this world, its events.....the pain , pleasure..the cycle...why should i do my role... it just happens.....The divine!

watch...be..

fels weird to be writing ...words seem so empty and inadequate...until i find some other channel of comunication like music, all of which only convey the surface of any feeling....anger, negativity, jealousy...all that seem to be just the surface....they seem like those dry leaves raked up by the wind that are blown away unless you get entangled in them ...

but those feelings that come when i watch the world..and things that keep happening... so called good things and so caled bad things, things that get me stressed...they seem to just pass me by...like a dream....there are precious few moments when i feel truly awake..like in satsangs...

it seems like sand that keeps tricking away...and you turn the hourglass around and they trickle some more...strange...i wonder what this is all about and why,,,

and then i d rather just go and do some seva(atleast that's my intention, howmuchever it translates into action, it s never enough) and get on with life...

sometimes i just wanna let go and sing and dance or just let go and do something...like i see the joy in miley cyrus s free, strong, spirited, 100% performance and let myself dive deep into music like that....

hmmm....

another poem

And then there were none
those masterly figures
with their timeless faces,one
with the ageless as life lingers

Thunder and lightning
nature's fury unleashed
men in strife fighting
in ignorance their bows creased

Lost in the worlds
as the masterly men breathe
their divinity unfolds
revealed in its glory unsheathed

The creator claims them all
to himself the source
the plaything the earth, the illusion-filled ball
as it runs its course

Towards the eternity-flowing
only,one ambivalent multifold
the farmer musingly does his ploughing
the dice case by fate and free-will rolled

on towards the gods of holy mirth
reveling in their creation
the royal pawns miscalculate their worth
the masterly ones-equanimity in their elation

What More can I Say

We don't know where we're going
We don't know where we ve been
We can't feel the wind that's blowing
but only feel the unseen


Deep inside the channels of our
heart, they say the divine dwells
forever since the divine hour
even before, and even after the death knells

for they say life journeys on forever
into the eternity-shifting
through the veil beyond time,like the river
ever the same, yet, tranforming, ever drifting

on towards the mighty ocean and the deep sea
I wonder how it came to be
Who am i? To thee?
Oh! I am you, you are me,

ageless boughs of the holy tree

Iwish I could see...

The simplest thing is often the best...

Sometimes it s just hard...But it s like this...and all this knowledge just makes me know more and more that this is how it is, it is hard....and i know i can get out of it if i know it....so it s discomfort and later pleasure this way.

It s either short time pain, long term pleasure

or short time pleasure and long term gain

The smart thing to do is to pick the first option

But the smartest thing to do is to go along, both ways, equally calmly and take it as it comes. Equanimously, like Krishna says in the Gita....

The present moment is inevitable and opposite values are complimentary...In fact all the sutras apply here....

AHH it s often the obivous that goes missed..

And I m sure the answer to everythng is so obivous that we miss it, unless we re that highly aware...which can come only through meditation...

Nowadays I seem to have nothing to want to write about. It has been two years and 2 months and 69 days since my kriya and i seem to be growing more and more still inside day by day, more and more a witness to my own life. Whatever I do, looking back there seems to be this silence and stillness deep inside that seems to be watching, waiting for nothing...simply watching..

Almost like a film, so many different thoughts and emotions, things that keep changing, and I m just there watching..like nothing affects me.. like nothing matters...absolutely nothing...
Sometimes i feels I ve been there stopping for death and coming back....going on and on..to no end though I don't remember where I went or what I did then/

And sometimes I wish there was a God up above who came down to Earth or visited or talked and told me why I am here, why he made this world, what is my role and why do I have to be born or die? Jus why do I have to be born, go to school, go to college, get a job,.....and so on...THat is my Dharma, so ok it can be done...But why?

Silence....So many words, so many people can say so many things, but unless I experience why, the question remains with me...Mainly because I m not interested...when I look forward or look back...I just am...right now...that's all...doing what my heart tells me to as much as I can..There;s nothing else to do... Just Seva , Sadhana and Satsang as much as I can...though it may take time to realize it s full potential..