Life can get so weird..I guess that's why it s called life. Every experience brings something that deepens one further in a subtle way. It brings out that love you have for creation deep down under just a little bit, along with it polishes you, like a piece of coal down in the pressure filled underground, with each day as it just inches towards becoming a diamond for eternity. And there are catalysts to do speed up the process, like the kriya and meditation....and all the carbon has an equal probablility of being the diamond, with God's grace it might get picked. But the carbon or coal trapped there is as important as the diamond... Each of them plays its own role...But why are they there, those potenial diamonds, those half done diamonds, the coal....Underneath, they re all equal....they re the same...It doesnt matter, the only thing they can do is do the role they are present for.. But I wish to know. ...why am i here? I wish to see, hear, touch, feel, taste...be....the divine..and understand this world, its events.....the pain , pleasure..the cycle...why should i do my role... it just happens.....The divine!