that-kind-of-love

Love in the romanitc sense I think is mostly over-rated. After years of experiences, all of them not very nice, I figured that love is just glamourized- maybe so that cafes can make money and cell phone companies can rake up profits or whatever. Still, haven't they existed from time immemorial according to human lore? From Radha-Krishna, Shiva-Sati, Shah Jahan-Noor Jahan to Brad Pitt-Angelina, SRK-Gauri,etc. SO it must mean that there is that-kind-of-love.

But looking back, I feel that it takes guts to really admit that that initial infatuation that draws you to someone need not be love, it could just be attraction. I'm saying this because during the course of those short-lived romances, there weren't any periods where I felt my whole being vibrate with joy, or felt found greater beauty in nature. It was just everyday sort of love, where you feel nice receiving a good morning sms from someone and all your morning passes by in biiter-sweet anticiaption of that one message. It is some what intoxicating, that feeling, until you eventually got bored, or you figured it isn't just about good-mornings after all.

Looking back I feel that they were just passing clouds in what could have been a thunderstorm. Maybe if i'd just waited for that-kind-of-love, i wouldn't have the negativity that those relationships brought to my mind, those fears, those regrets. or maybe they were just a taste of what might come, so that when the storm finally arrives, the earth is ready to take it.Or they could be one of those little worlds- those microcosmic universes that make up this universe , or each a candle that are all potential flames.

Who knows? All I know is that the love that feels wholesome is one that is universal, however cliched that may sound. It is the love that one feels for every single part of this creation- however big, small, tall, short, evil or good, bad-temepered or cute. It takes effort to reach that stage. But the easy way out to that universal love is romantic love and the bhakti type of love (Meerabhai,Kabir,etc-- though I havn't met a contemporary example). Even the anticipation of it beautifies the world around for me. Maybe one day, the real thing will. Until then, I'm content with thge search for the just lovein my inner being.