To Me, To Me meaning to you too

Here are a list of things that bother me to no end and like Fulghum (Pronounced Ful-jhum) says in his book 'Maybe (Maybe Not)', it is the bull (El-Torro) that starts to stampede its way towards me and I am that matador standing silently watching him come towards me, only till now I was squirming and if I really had been a matador, I would have have been run over with the bull pouting smoke in triumph now...Anyways getting to the point, I wanna get over why I felt so bad and start my training to be an expert matador..Here goes:

1) I have this block against talking to people when I am supposed to because in my mind I feel I am not connecting to them, I don't feel good about talking, mixing, interacting, etc...unless I am in my element ...a rare occurrence until now, because as this Yes Plus has taught me again and again and so on..., NOW is when you decide to change and NOW is happening, NOW is constant, so I have changed...And my people skills will improve :)

2) I never felt good about myself...For sure lucky and grateful for what I have got, but never proud of who I am..So now, appreciation..a pat on the back for everything I have learnt (and implemented) and there it ends

3) Ego----- EGO...The separation from the things around me , the lack of belongingness..in short the wall I built saying 'Why should I??'..or 'How does it matter?'...I have NOW broken that wall..

4) Faith..The faith in what I do, therefore the passion and therefore my best efforts..in every small things, not 'The God of Small Things' but THE GOD IN SMALL THINGS

5) Attention seeking.....Now it's gone

I hereby promise to leave my COMFORT ZONE and venture forth into the world of CHALLENGES...Doing unto my capability what I thought I could not...


With Love
ME to infinity and love

What can one really say??

Well today, I was having some choco-nut gelato and just contemplating on why people still use plastic and what is one really supposed to DO when it is thrust into one's hands or one cant help but use it..Anyway, it suddenly hit me that maybe the purpose of life is to find the purpose of life...?? What else can it be?? And the other side says just shut up and go on with your seva, sadhana and satsang...But it just comes and with time most of the answers do too, somehow....And i figured, all I sometimes really want to do is seva- even as a profession...and be there doing it all my life...at the feet of my Guru- that s the most important part..

life

I have been reading this book called Uh-Oh- some observations from both sides of the refrigerator door (or something like that)..By Robert Fulghum and I can say that its one of the most influential books i have ever read... He doesnt preach, he doesnt just describe, he communicates and it hits you.. And all it has is just his experiences and observations about people and life.. I m not too much of a reviewer, so that s all I will say now . But it is a must read for everybody in the world, just to take time off for themselves and reflect on the life they have been living and not realizing they re alive... Well I guess you could say it was the same for me, but now I m getting there and still not living yet. Why? because I found that it is easier said than done and all along the mind plays so many tricks on us to get out of what it has to do even though it wants to do it and that feeling of dissatisfaction of not doing what you set out to do is one of the worst things on Planet Earth among the so many other mindless things that happen.. And unlike just hanging out in some sophisticate fish-market like a crowded coffee day, life gets filed with color sitting with a group of friends who have no judgements and strumming the guitar with some warm singing :) in a breezy terrace with a view of the Adyar River... or a game of chess with one of your old friends, a can of ginger beer nearby...Nothing better


For exercise, I suggest some tree plantation wherever possible. I was feeling bad about having not done much work on account of my fear of butterflies this Saturday Morning in the backyard of a church...But I am happy I took time off and went and I will go again ,and again, till I feel I ve given my best and then do some more ...(and hopefully gotten rid of some more mindless fears)..after all what is to fear, death may come calling anytime and you dont wanna die thinking you were scared of butterflies..

PS The pic is of me and Katya (my friend whos in Blore) at the tree plantation venue last week..I did more work then ...cause there were lesser butterflies..

PPS I know you re laughing..but well its me and I m slowly getting over the fear I guess ..

One of my angels and one of my profiles

This is one of my first profiles and who better to write it about than Diya? Profiles are basically articles about anything, person or place focusing only that particular thing,person or place....and Diya is certainly someone you should not miss out on...She's such a bundle of joy :)

A TRIBUTE TO THE CHILD OF THE RIVER

“Next term onwards, you will not call me OK? Just send me letters..” Only someone like Diya, my best friend can come up with something like that. She goes on to tell me that she’s told her parents to call her at hostel once a week only and send her letters instead. Her aim here is to see how it feels to be cut-off from ‘Idiot Boxes’, telephones, networking online and actually experience the heart-to-heart communication that happens with a no-nonsense (sans the superficial Wazzups, What you uptos and the like) , much more meaningful letter. Much more expansion in one’s mind and soul, she feels, happens this way,

Characterized by a round visage, creamy-fair complexion and deep, twinkling, beetle-black eyes, she is of average build and is gifted with the hands of a creator with an equally creative mind, having been born to an artist-turned ad-designer father, Her house is tastefully decorated with Australian Pine wood, comfortable Mahogany chairs and adorned with ethnic accessories and large paintings. Enter her room and you will find it filled with useful and decorative knick-knacks made by her.

Diya is a deep, intelligent soul, ever-bubbly( with the innocence of a baby) yet extremely matured, self-contained and eternally happy. She’s one of those people as my English teacher put it ‘makes silence feel as comfortable as any conversation’ and whenever we have conversations, they turn out to be discussions on psychology, why some things are done and some are not, why is whatever is happening- happening or admiring some creation of the world or some observation on the world. She is also one of those with a calm disposition and never loses that state, which is almost meditative with regard to whatever she does.

Apart from being a connoisseur of art, she is also a ‘connoisseur’ of food. Every visit to her house entails a new dish, most often her brainchild or simply a scrumptious dessert. In her own way, she is spiritual and has a deep understanding of why people do what they do or why things happen as they do.. Yet she can’t sit down to do things like studying from a text book but is like a child playing in the garden, exploring and learning and playing with the greatest care and attention, joy and enthusiasm. This quality of hers combined with her calm nature saves her from sinking into muddy waters.

Having no regrets, qualms or too many expectations only makes her even more special to those who know her, also making her stand out in a classroom full of chattering people where she will be one of the few who are completely at ease and among the most frank. You will almost always find her working some kind of magic with her fingers or simply basking in the environment.

Sometimes she can be upset by something wherein she'll complain for a while and ask you to go away ( nowadays she asks you to cheer her up- a good sign), but she'll be back a while later, sidling her arm into yours and both of you start humming a soulful song. To me it sounds like the symphony of a river bubbling away and flowing along merrily, sometimes calm and deep and sometimes foamy, moving to the tunes of Mother Nature. That’s who Diya is, with her simplicity, her wisps of short, curly hair flying in the breeze during our sojourns in my flattering terrace and wearing a pleasing smile (for so many things) and I love her exactly for the who she is..A teacher, a friend and a companion and a connection..