the elements

those hot and cold
tongues of flame
more brazen than bold
to wipe your name

spouting forth
so fiery, untamed
down to ashes
for every game

to douse the flame
has sprung forth
its mate in form
equal in worth

so warm, so cold
its maker alone
can make it flow
can make it mourn

for life on earth
as it takes back
from that above
for life a track

to tread on and eat
still one thing
it needs to breathe
has no mate to bring

home to please
solemly it blows
through hills and trees
a farmer's plogh

it breathes into
the child of water
air,earth and a cue
for fire- the baker

the father or rain
thunder, lightning
of rebirth,and pain
of death-
what a funny thing

that-kind-of-love

Love in the romanitc sense I think is mostly over-rated. After years of experiences, all of them not very nice, I figured that love is just glamourized- maybe so that cafes can make money and cell phone companies can rake up profits or whatever. Still, haven't they existed from time immemorial according to human lore? From Radha-Krishna, Shiva-Sati, Shah Jahan-Noor Jahan to Brad Pitt-Angelina, SRK-Gauri,etc. SO it must mean that there is that-kind-of-love.

But looking back, I feel that it takes guts to really admit that that initial infatuation that draws you to someone need not be love, it could just be attraction. I'm saying this because during the course of those short-lived romances, there weren't any periods where I felt my whole being vibrate with joy, or felt found greater beauty in nature. It was just everyday sort of love, where you feel nice receiving a good morning sms from someone and all your morning passes by in biiter-sweet anticiaption of that one message. It is some what intoxicating, that feeling, until you eventually got bored, or you figured it isn't just about good-mornings after all.

Looking back I feel that they were just passing clouds in what could have been a thunderstorm. Maybe if i'd just waited for that-kind-of-love, i wouldn't have the negativity that those relationships brought to my mind, those fears, those regrets. or maybe they were just a taste of what might come, so that when the storm finally arrives, the earth is ready to take it.Or they could be one of those little worlds- those microcosmic universes that make up this universe , or each a candle that are all potential flames.

Who knows? All I know is that the love that feels wholesome is one that is universal, however cliched that may sound. It is the love that one feels for every single part of this creation- however big, small, tall, short, evil or good, bad-temepered or cute. It takes effort to reach that stage. But the easy way out to that universal love is romantic love and the bhakti type of love (Meerabhai,Kabir,etc-- though I havn't met a contemporary example). Even the anticipation of it beautifies the world around for me. Maybe one day, the real thing will. Until then, I'm content with thge search for the just lovein my inner being.

if i had to write

If i get to write
what would it be
a summertime fling
or a magic tree

if i get to write
what would i narrate
tales of magic
or of love and hate

if i had to write
what would i say
follow your foresight
or let someone lead the way

if i sat down to write
what would it be about
a history of wars and might
or of spiritual doubt

if i ever wrote
who would pick it up
children at bedtime
or a wise grownup

where darkness and light meet

it comes in gasps and bursts
here, there as i see one more
more to come, more to go
on towards
where the sand dunes blow

in a hazy gaze
with flashes of brilliance
with flashes of pure gold sunlight

deep vermillion
velvety black
of the night sky
with the crystal sparkling stars

on towards the edgy waterfall
soar towards the sunlit sea
of deep sapphire at sunset

of life and death
of the chill wind in the graveyard
where the mighty shiva dances
soar like a rocket
uptowards paradise
where somewhere in a milky sea
the peacock-feathered Krishna lies

both my lords
as Brahma in his bliss
unfolds from the fountain
more haze, more clarity
where darkness and light meet
once-and-for all
in eternity

the sat-dispeller of darkness

what beauty, what grace
such innocent guile interlaced
with life and spirit
a potent mixture
all alive
his gaze on human fixtures

robed in white
clad in the armour
of knowing-upright
a stillness no wind can stir

a stillness that runs so deep
that one may as well forget to weep
filled with waves of joy
so real , so profound
if only love could make a sound
it would erupt in a blissful symphony
so myriad, so deep, so bright and sunny

what a gaze he has
that mighty being
what dignity he wears
of discipline-his bearing

so quiet like nature at work
busy making those elegant quirks
of that which binds us creatures that talk
who knows where he leads us
where the one-brahman walks

as he parts those gilded veils
of creation, what a dream
he wakes you up to tell you
everything may not be as it seems

what ?

wishy washy
standing right there
watch those bubbles
no don't stare

up and down the staricases live
a step here, a step there..oh! the jive

washing up,giving it a run-down
it just lies there until sun-down
even as the sun rises
oh that razor-knife just splices

out spills the life-blood
the fluidity of life
here and there a divine thread
connect- no husband and wife

in between the inky black sky
the sky diver does try
again and again- like clockwork
waiting for the right stroke
the right divine pull,if i may
how he longs for gurudeva everyday

...

wonder trickles down
as the drizzling raindrops
raindrops.. teardrops
of sorrow, joy and wonder
of fear struck down asunder

as a new world opens up
of dazzling colours
of sunshine
on a cloudy day

clouds strech beyond the hazy hills
in the distance
longing like the cry of the solitary bird

that wants to soar away , glide and dip
into the sparkling blue sea
the sea of wonder, the sea of love
the sea of pain, longing
the sea of joy

and soar back up
into the arms of the almighty sky