Words

On Valentine's eve

2012-02-13T11:24:00.000-08:00

2 things one must always remember;
1) Take your mother and go if you're running to meet guruji if you've brought her to satsang
2) If you need to cry your heart out, do so where no one can hear you, so you don't break your mother's (or any other family member's) heart.

Knowledge of the day
Whatever intense emotion you're feeling (laughter doesn't count, it's light) -- love, fear, anything -- is only happening inside yourself. Nobody or nothing around known what's happening inside you (enlightened beings are exceptions). So this means you can never expect another person to fully understand or experience what you are experiencing. So it's futile to expect any kind of reaction from them, other than their own. You can't try to project what you are feeling onto them and expect them to feel the same. It really doesn't work like that. Life would be much simpler if you ( by you,I mean one) just remember, that whatever you're going through, the world will go on, life will go on.. so just let go of your emotions and connect yourself to this eternal being that just be-is (pronounced as be-es), whatever that means.

It would probably help loads if you could instead focus on helping others out, doing something for someone else, instead of drowning in your own emotions. (Don't ask why, it simply is that way I guess, like the earth is a sphere and spheres have no beginnings or endings)

Like Guruji says, what is in your control anyway, even your own body is not

Happy Valentine's day (to whomever it may concern)
Cheers
Jai Gurudeva, always
H

the elements

2011-07-16T04:58:00.000-07:00

those hot and cold
tongues of flame
more brazen than bold
to wipe your name

spouting forth
so fiery, untamed
down to ashes
for every game

to douse the flame
has sprung forth
its mate in form
equal in worth

so warm, so cold
its maker alone
can make it flow
can make it mourn

for life on earth
as it takes back
from that above
for life a track

to tread on and eat
still one thing
it needs to breathe
has no mate to bring

home to please
solemly it blows
through hills and trees
a farmer's plogh

it breathes into
the child of water
air,earth and a cue
for fire- the baker

the father or rain
thunder, lightning
of rebirth,and pain
of death-
what a funny thing

that-kind-of-love

2011-07-03T23:01:00.000-07:00

Love in the romanitc sense I think is mostly over-rated. After years of experiences, all of them not very nice, I figured that love is just glamourized- maybe so that cafes can make money and cell phone companies can rake up profits or whatever. Still, haven't they existed from time immemorial according to human lore? From Radha-Krishna, Shiva-Sati, Shah Jahan-Noor Jahan to Brad Pitt-Angelina, SRK-Gauri,etc. SO it must mean that there is that-kind-of-love.

But looking back, I feel that it takes guts to really admit that that initial infatuation that draws you to someone need not be love, it could just be attraction. I'm saying this because during the course of those short-lived romances, there weren't any periods where I felt my whole being vibrate with joy, or felt found greater beauty in nature. It was just everyday sort of love, where you feel nice receiving a good morning sms from someone and all your morning passes by in biiter-sweet anticiaption of that one message. It is some what intoxicating, that feeling, until you eventually got bored, or you figured it isn't just about good-mornings after all.

Looking back I feel that they were just passing clouds in what could have been a thunderstorm. Maybe if i'd just waited for that-kind-of-love, i wouldn't have the negativity that those relationships brought to my mind, those fears, those regrets. or maybe they were just a taste of what might come, so that when the storm finally arrives, the earth is ready to take it.Or they could be one of those little worlds- those microcosmic universes that make up this universe , or each a candle that are all potential flames.

Who knows? All I know is that the love that feels wholesome is one that is universal, however cliched that may sound. It is the love that one feels for every single part of this creation- however big, small, tall, short, evil or good, bad-temepered or cute. It takes effort to reach that stage. But the easy way out to that universal love is romantic love and the bhakti type of love (Meerabhai,Kabir,etc-- though I havn't met a contemporary example). Even the anticipation of it beautifies the world around for me. Maybe one day, the real thing will. Until then, I'm content with thge search for the just lovein my inner being.

if i had to write

2011-06-30T23:43:00.001-07:00

If i get to write
what would it be
a summertime fling
or a magic tree

if i get to write
what would i narrate
tales of magic
or of love and hate

if i had to write
what would i say
follow your foresight
or let someone lead the way

if i sat down to write
what would it be about
a history of wars and might
or of spiritual doubt

if i ever wrote
who would pick it up
children at bedtime
or a wise grownup

where darkness and light meet

2011-06-15T23:27:00.000-07:00

it comes in gasps and bursts
here, there as i see one more
more to come, more to go
on towards
where the sand dunes blow

in a hazy gaze
with flashes of brilliance
with flashes of pure gold sunlight

deep vermillion
velvety black
of the night sky
with the crystal sparkling stars

on towards the edgy waterfall
soar towards the sunlit sea
of deep sapphire at sunset

of life and death
of the chill wind in the graveyard
where the mighty shiva dances
soar like a rocket
uptowards paradise
where somewhere in a milky sea
the peacock-feathered Krishna lies

both my lords
as Brahma in his bliss
unfolds from the fountain
more haze, more clarity
where darkness and light meet
once-and-for all
in eternity

the sat-dispeller of darkness

2011-05-23T00:47:00.000-07:00

what beauty, what grace
such innocent guile interlaced
with life and spirit
a potent mixture
all alive
his gaze on human fixtures

robed in white
clad in the armour
of knowing-upright
a stillness no wind can stir

a stillness that runs so deep
that one may as well forget to weep
filled with waves of joy
so real , so profound
if only love could make a sound
it would erupt in a blissful symphony
so myriad, so deep, so bright and sunny

what a gaze he has
that mighty being
what dignity he wears
of discipline-his bearing

so quiet like nature at work
busy making those elegant quirks
of that which binds us creatures that talk
who knows where he leads us
where the one-brahman walks

as he parts those gilded veils
of creation, what a dream
he wakes you up to tell you
everything may not be as it seems

what ?

2011-05-23T00:39:00.000-07:00

wishy washy
standing right there
watch those bubbles
no don't stare

up and down the staricases live
a step here, a step there..oh! the jive

washing up,giving it a run-down
it just lies there until sun-down
even as the sun rises
oh that razor-knife just splices

out spills the life-blood
the fluidity of life
here and there a divine thread
connect- no husband and wife

in between the inky black sky
the sky diver does try
again and again- like clockwork
waiting for the right stroke
the right divine pull,if i may
how he longs for gurudeva everyday

...

2011-02-04T01:50:00.000-08:00

wonder trickles down
as the drizzling raindrops
raindrops.. teardrops
of sorrow, joy and wonder
of fear struck down asunder

as a new world opens up
of dazzling colours
of sunshine
on a cloudy day

clouds strech beyond the hazy hills
in the distance
longing like the cry of the solitary bird

that wants to soar away , glide and dip
into the sparkling blue sea
the sea of wonder, the sea of love
the sea of pain, longing
the sea of joy

and soar back up
into the arms of the almighty sky

2011-01-13T08:07:00.000-08:00

when i walk
walk underneath the sky
the sky laughs at me
at my embrace
at my silence

on this race
the world thinks its running
all this grace
that seems to be flowing

i wish i could feel
the waters that surround me
i wish i could feel
myself a part of it

of this grace, of this race
and that seems to be
at this moment
there is just me
where is the beauty?
where is love?
seems as though it has flown away
the pure, white dove

i look for it in me
in you, in the sky above, in the earth
but the sky just seems to laugh
laugh at my puny worth
i wish i could laugh along with the god's mirth

2010-12-06T04:32:00.000-08:00

After a weird and nice weekend,I'm back at college, only to find out that there's a documentary festival occupying the whole weekend and that we have to make a documentary in two days! not to mention the environment assignment and covering dep exam next fri. Honestly, the exam seems more inviting than the festival or the tight deadlines.
Ever since I've come here, I've been hating it! But from my experience I ve pretty much hated and dreaded almost every experience, that I ultimately ended up learning so many practical things from. But then again, like I say every time, this is the worst of them all.
And looking at some people I know and don't, who get to be so close to the Guru, i feel pain, physical pain that my 'karma' doesn't allow it. Of course, I'm pretty thankful for all the knowledge that I've been able to access through my master. I just wish I could be a devotee par comparison, even in my own eyes. I wish I could be with the Master, but as we're told time again- why the physical presence when he's here with you. My answer to that is: it's easy for you to say when you're that fricking close to him and you're a super senior teacher and/or a rishi or a swami! Where are we? Show me one person who's super devoted and not physically close to him and I'll shut up and emulate. But I'm sick and tired of playing these worldly games, let me find me and I'll be happy to play. After all, you do need to know the game to play it!
PS This is coming from a clearly frustrated soul,
PPS what is that painful feeling that i get when i see people close to the master? why is it that i wanna revel in my solitude during those moments?

spurned love

2010-11-28T07:33:00.000-08:00

It's funny when sometimes some weird longing from the past returns, though not as potent as before, cause you're familiar with it. And Karma too is such an irony.. Spurned love, spurns you... And though all this knowledge is there...that you're Niranjana...that nothing ever touches you, unless you delude yourself into thinking it does, even then it actually doesn't like a dream.. In some ways all the pain I've been through w.r.t spurned love has taught me that much. I have now come to a place where I can feel the pain and the longing, but it doesn't touch me, it can't. It's like I'm in this vacuum.
Having said that, what can I really long for from whoever that is? Psychological satisfaction of acceptance, emotional security? No. The love is there only when there is that longing and that longing colors every moment, every breath with the love. And the eyes, they're like windows to that infinity of longing and love..and pain, pain that be so ecstatic in its victorious moments and so searing in its losses. It's like a two-pronged spear. And love is everything else.

a burst of light

2010-10-24T10:42:00.001-07:00

stumbling through the mazes and thickets
through the forests of fate, of illusion
running round and round in circles
sudden bursts of clarity, amid bursts of confusion

what a world, what a day, what a second
has not passed by under your watchful eye
under the endless sky
as your face over the blanket of stars,
the moon at your brow
the sun- your hair

what love fills me,
at your very thought
it sears me, the ecstacy
when you look at me
through the photograph, through the fabric of space and time

your grace fills my void

i stumble upon your light
in those endless forests of maya

and then your light illuminates the path
chases away those wisps of darkness
cuts away those sinuous, stealthy vines of my mind

as i'm born again unto you
i die..and i m renewed, never to be lost again
but to find myself in a new place, through each moment's grace
fresh as dew in the lotus pond

what it seems like.

2010-10-22T23:31:00.000-07:00

i guess most people would know this, but 'the world is not what it seems' is such an understatement. There's so much we don't know, and we never will. But there is something that we must do, at least I believe that keeping my conscience free is important. But doing just that one thing, if one is brutally honest with oneself, could be the hardest thing to EVER do, depending on whether you see yourself as Gandhi or just a normal human being.

I mean there's nothing in this world, that one can trust, not even the mind, which is the WORST of them all. But it is just that voice of conscience if one is sensitive enough to lend an ear to that makes a difference i guess, it is the only way to peace.Even that can come only from self-awareness and when does one began to ask such questions of oneself? I guess that's what makes all the difference.

In this world full of deception and misery, it s all in the mind and the voice of conscience, untainted by the mind, is the only way...

That's where spirituality begins and that is an end in itself. the quenching of an eternal thirst... how do i know? well i m giving it a shot. it's worth that.

Dealing with hurt

2010-09-02T02:37:00.000-07:00

Q: I know that something inside of me is hurting me. But I don't want to think about it. How can I resolve all this and be happy without thinking about it.

Sri Sri: You know when you feel hurt you feel very deep. That's why if you feel some thing deep you also feel a little hurt inside that. In Deep love there is hurt. It is an unavoidable mixture. Hmm. That hurt and that deep love when you transcend them, then you go beyond the duality and peace dawns. Permanent Peace. And only spiritual awakening can bring that permanent peace. Those who have been in the knowledge, on the path, for a long time, you know you don't feel sad at all. It doesn't touch. Some thing deep inside you becomes so strong so solid. So when you are in the knowledge then you feel nothing really is touching me. I have many people asking me "Guruji Why I don't feel upset over any thing now? " They wonder, " Is something wrong with me? I don't feel the pain, the pinch of suffering of any pain. Someone close to me died and I don't feel any thing. Something is wrong with me!" These sort of questions arise. Those glimpses in life come when you go past that hurt and love. But, first get out of this - "You hurt me. I hurt you. You did this wrong. I did this wrong. You didn't look at me. You didn't talk to me. You didn't treat me well etc. etc..." All these accusations you should just get out of it.

words...and deeds

2010-08-16T01:17:00.000-07:00

Words...Guruji says are useless unless they become existence and so is love...just an emotion until it becomes existence.
But what is this existence?
Is existence the fact that so many people, events and circumstances happen and is life, the way you deal with them?
At all point in time, there is dystopia and the world always moves towards the brink of destruction, so are the events in our lives such that even movies are fashioned after such occurrences.
Was there ever a time when there was a perfect society?
Is there ever a time when a human being is free of his desires, his cravings, his emotions, his conflicts and his confusions...what is this 'perfection' that everyone always talks of moving towards?
Who am 'I'who is asking all these question, who am I that watches all these events, happy and sad pass by... Who am 'I' that watches something in me writhe in pain, boundless in its ecstasy, who am I that watches as regret and desire burn their way into my pure untainted soul...?

clouds

2010-06-15T09:41:00.001-07:00

i saw the clouds up in the sky
through the window
through the window of my soul
they were tinged a pale grey
harbingers of the lush green rain
the rain that sustains life
the rain that sustains my love
and my love was tinged with that very grey
floating by
i wish it could be proud and fiery and strong
like the sun
but clouds are just clouds
they pass-by
come and go
they can't hide the sun
that still shines forth
my soul burns on
the wick at the holy shrine
that only lights more
never fades
never dies
it is
and perhaps that is what i m seeking
my love... oh! divine..

i wish i could be new

2010-05-31T03:47:00.000-07:00

i wish i could be something new
something fresh, something pure
a prayer in the village church pew
the rainbow in the sky-azure

i wish i would be something new
not a wanderer in the mirage of the world
not a leaf that withers brown against the blue
nor an insignifanct character in the story untold

i wish i could be something new
the dance of the rain in the hills of yore
the smile of the godess,long-overdue
the bilss of my saint as he asks for nothing more

i wish i could be something new
the naked flame in the temple altar
the mighty thunder, for the storm a cue
the green grass that in the storm does not falter

i wish i could be new here and now
in your arms, Guruji for the eternity to come
in your love, and by your grace, in your servitude i bow

joy

2010-05-16T01:33:00.000-07:00

Bubbling springs of the joyful river
sunlight through the snowy mountains -a sliver
joy wells up, hope grows, 'i' becomes a giver
the moment fulfills itself in a life full of rigour

Faces all aglow around
one touch and sorrow-no more bound
to life-like a sinuous vine,only the sound
of the springs of joy eternal found

by none other than the very heart
finds none in this creation apart
from itself,sends forth the dart
of its love, to play its part
in this world-play , a mighty start

2010-04-15T08:18:00.000-07:00

dignity is only yours to uphold...no one can take it away frm unless u let them
and one more profound sentance that i heard today:
" You ll see that most people are nice..when you get close to them"
that's so much similar to what guruji says
that there's love in everybody's heart, you just need to look for it and give it to them , when it s buried far too deep
sounds easy
only when you are aware can you actually feel it and apply it
not while lost in the body, breath, mind, memory and ego.....
and that's what, closeness means...belongingness....closing the distance that ego forms between the various forms of this creation...
the test of knowledge...for me
that you are me and i am you and we are nothing....yet everything

gavin rossdale's song...so close to my heart

2010-03-24T09:23:00.001-07:00

Half the time the world is ending
truth is i am done pretending
i ve never thought that i
had anymore to give
you re pushin me so far
here i am withou you
drink, to all that we have lost,
mistakes we have made
everything will change
but love remains the same

pondering..

2010-02-14T08:08:00.001-08:00

It is said in Yoga Vasistha that the present moment is more powerful than the actions of the past, if we strive for it to be so... Strange when Guruji says that what happens in our lives is out of our hands and Vasistha says it is all a result of our Karma...Does Guruji mean that these life events are currently out of our hand but they are athe fruits of past life actions which of course we don't remember? or does he mean that events are a result of probability, but it is upto us what we do with them? Either way, being aware of the now and constantly engaging in it is the wisest thing to do..... in my experience...
Another wise thing I heard by Swami Nithyananda:
It cheered me up instantly:
He urged us to be like Kalabhairav who dances in exultant bliss even in the cremation ground, among all the dead bodies, the bones and skulls....meaning that despite our anger, lust, depression and every feeling, it is within our power to choose to rise above it and dance in joy, meaning to remain untouched by everything that happens around...and walk with strength and faith that we are strong within ourselves and the power to overcome any obstacle lies within us....Just like the blade of grass that dances in the storm...
Jai Guru Dev

2009-12-20T07:44:00.000-08:00

And words can seem so empty
and the world can continue its journey
but at this moment
it s all i have
it s nothing
it s everything
and all i have to share
it s me
it s me
and it s all for you
now
in time
it s now
where i am
where i am is where i will be
and you will be too

2009-12-01T08:41:00.000-08:00

Life can get so weird..I guess that's why it s called life. Every experience brings something that deepens one further in a subtle way. It brings out that love you have for creation deep down under just a little bit, along with it polishes you, like a piece of coal down in the pressure filled underground, with each day as it just inches towards becoming a diamond for eternity. And there are catalysts to do speed up the process, like the kriya and meditation....and all the carbon has an equal probablility of being the diamond, with God's grace it might get picked. But the carbon or coal trapped there is as important as the diamond... Each of them plays its own role...But why are they there, those potenial diamonds, those half done diamonds, the coal....Underneath, they re all equal....they re the same...It doesnt matter, the only thing they can do is do the role they are present for.. But I wish to know. ...why am i here? I wish to see, hear, touch, feel, taste...be....the divine..and understand this world, its events.....the pain , pleasure..the cycle...why should i do my role... it just happens.....The divine!

watch...be..

2009-11-18T23:11:00.000-08:00

fels weird to be writing ...words seem so empty and inadequate...until i find some other channel of comunication like music, all of which only convey the surface of any feeling....anger, negativity, jealousy...all that seem to be just the surface....they seem like those dry leaves raked up by the wind that are blown away unless you get entangled in them ...

but those feelings that come when i watch the world..and things that keep happening... so called good things and so caled bad things, things that get me stressed...they seem to just pass me by...like a dream....there are precious few moments when i feel truly awake..like in satsangs...

it seems like sand that keeps tricking away...and you turn the hourglass around and they trickle some more...strange...i wonder what this is all about and why,,,

and then i d rather just go and do some seva(atleast that's my intention, howmuchever it translates into action, it s never enough) and get on with life...

sometimes i just wanna let go and sing and dance or just let go and do something...like i see the joy in miley cyrus s free, strong, spirited, 100% performance and let myself dive deep into music like that....

hmmm....

another poem

2009-10-23T23:06:00.000-07:00

And then there were none
those masterly figures
with their timeless faces,one
with the ageless as life lingers

Thunder and lightning
nature's fury unleashed
men in strife fighting
in ignorance their bows creased

Lost in the worlds
as the masterly men breathe
their divinity unfolds
revealed in its glory unsheathed

The creator claims them all
to himself the source
the plaything the earth, the illusion-filled ball
as it runs its course

Towards the eternity-flowing
only,one ambivalent multifold
the farmer musingly does his ploughing
the dice case by fate and free-will rolled

on towards the gods of holy mirth
reveling in their creation
the royal pawns miscalculate their worth
the masterly ones-equanimity in their elation

What More can I Say

2009-10-18T02:37:00.000-07:00

We don't know where we're going
We don't know where we ve been
We can't feel the wind that's blowing
but only feel the unseen

Deep inside the channels of our
heart, they say the divine dwells
forever since the divine hour
even before, and even after the death knells

for they say life journeys on forever
into the eternity-shifting
through the veil beyond time,like the river
ever the same, yet, tranforming, ever drifting

on towards the mighty ocean and the deep sea
I wonder how it came to be
Who am i? To thee?
Oh! I am you, you are me,

ageless boughs of the holy tree

Iwish I could see...

The simplest thing is often the best...

2009-10-02T04:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it s just hard...But it s like this...and all this knowledge just makes me know more and more that this is how it is, it is hard....and i know i can get out of it if i know it....so it s discomfort and later pleasure this way.

It s either short time pain, long term pleasure

or short time pleasure and long term gain

The smart thing to do is to pick the first option

But the smartest thing to do is to go along, both ways, equally calmly and take it as it comes. Equanimously, like Krishna says in the Gita....

The present moment is inevitable and opposite values are complimentary...In fact all the sutras apply here....

AHH it s often the obivous that goes missed..

And I m sure the answer to everythng is so obivous that we miss it, unless we re that highly aware...which can come only through meditation...

2009-09-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

Nowadays I seem to have nothing to want to write about. It has been two years and 2 months and 69 days since my kriya and i seem to be growing more and more still inside day by day, more and more a witness to my own life. Whatever I do, looking back there seems to be this silence and stillness deep inside that seems to be watching, waiting for nothing...simply watching..

Almost like a film, so many different thoughts and emotions, things that keep changing, and I m just there watching..like nothing affects me.. like nothing matters...absolutely nothing...
Sometimes i feels I ve been there stopping for death and coming back....going on and on..to no end though I don't remember where I went or what I did then/

And sometimes I wish there was a God up above who came down to Earth or visited or talked and told me why I am here, why he made this world, what is my role and why do I have to be born or die? Jus why do I have to be born, go to school, go to college, get a job,.....and so on...THat is my Dharma, so ok it can be done...But why?

Silence....So many words, so many people can say so many things, but unless I experience why, the question remains with me...Mainly because I m not interested...when I look forward or look back...I just am...right now...that's all...doing what my heart tells me to as much as I can..There;s nothing else to do... Just Seva , Sadhana and Satsang as much as I can...though it may take time to realize it s full potential..

2009-06-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

sometimes there are things that happen beyond your comprehension...so many things to change, to do, to watch, to learn....where does it end? rather where is peace among all this chaos? why do certain things keep happening over and over again...? Whr are there so many assumptions? What if everyone just gave up living and doing what they did- eat and exist....jus work to eat...or was that how the world was built..in search of food..and better comfort..? when man disovered the so many things he can do in this world...and got curious for more...everything was meant to be then....nothing was in his control...nothing is and nothing will be... is enlightenment a chance too then? is there nothing such as choice? cause we do everything out of an impule...from the heart or mind...those two voices..

This body that goes through it s experiences of pleasure and pain...judges..hopes...craves...gives...takes...wants...feels...so many things...

why?

who?

is this question real?

is it a quagmire?

no it s just trust... trust and there is peace and calm... that life just goes on and no matter what..we embrace and live it.just the way we want to..without hurting or destroying..living and letting live...

2009-05-07T22:20:00.000-07:00

Whenever i listen to stories of people sharing love, it moves me to tears.. And as Eckhart Tolle tells us that when we are aware of ourselves, reside in our being (by being aware of the body throughout the day- in whatever we are doing and feel the body through breath when thoughts come up; observing the feelings that arise and accepting them along with what IS now which is the only reality) and learn to handle the egoic mind with the power of now, love wells up in us for every being as we are all made up of the same energy that sustains the universe. True Love happens when the intensity of this universal love varies for a certain person who reflects this love of yours back.

And this love sustains only when we learn to get rid of the egoic mind which almost everyone runs their lives with (Read the power of now by Eckhar Tolle to know more. It is one of the only very few books which is making me implement what it lives for.... )

Dear god...

2009-03-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

my twittering heart, my longing sigh
i wonder if i should just let it pass me by
it has struck me over and again
will this too prove to be in vain?

long hours of contemplation even
as as the hours pass by nineteen to the dozen
those thoughts keep flitting across
wonderin what is to come; why was it what it was?

that day shoulnt have happened
it's left my spirits dampened
in the anticipation of what is to come
in trying to find the fulcrum

that's it i m going down; on my knees
to surrender; please oh please
dear god, make this wish come true
i forever live in your thoughts; waiting for the right cue...

for you come and take me
in your arms, forever to be
yours and only yours, in your paradise
beholding infinity through these very eyes

2009-02-20T04:39:00.000-08:00

I was shown a video recently...of a very senior AOL teacher,who shared something really profound. It was about training the mind.
He said the following three things

We must always take a comitment to be happy.. Nothing muct be able to shake our happiness i.e we must never let our mind be unhappy. For that we must be in the NOW...Always in the NOW...This moment
But how? is the next question. He puts it very simply. First, we must learn to accept whatever it is that is making us unhappy...This is how it is, so what!!
And then comes the most important part..Taking action by asking HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF USEFUL NOW! THIS MOMENT WHAT ACTION CAN I TAKE?WHAT CAN I DO TO CONTRIBUTE

Of course, it will take time...Initially we just have to do this whenever we remember that we are unhappy and that we have to d something about it...And after a while, it becomes our second nature...

Lately..I also read something really beautiful: There is always a new hope...that something good might happen..We just have to keep ourselves open to surprises and also do what we really want to that we think will make a difference...

Paulo Coeho had written in his book , 'Like a flowing river' that each one of us contains the whole universe an the power to make a difference here within ourselves..We just have to know that...

And that gives me an instant sense of calm and peace...

Especially during meditation when those three amazing lines that Guruji has said comes into my mind:

I am nothing...I want nothing...I do nothing...That is where the peace lies, and the bliss and a glimpse of that infinity..Just a glimpse...Then I wonder how living in that bliss feels like...

What does matter in life?? Why are we here??... I wonder and I wonder...People, events, things seem to pass me by...like the flickering flames in a candle...Where is that flame coming from? And how can I feel the warmth in myself...Touch it, get lost in it and it burns...Stay away from it, watch it and there is the beauty...How do I become that warmth?? I wonder...

firecrackers again...

2009-01-17T05:33:00.000-08:00

There were firecrackers again...Last night and that's when I felt that everybody in the world is looking for love..and trust and care...That through this we were all connected..I felt like a sales girls giving pamphlets at the beach (where there was a fire work display at the closing ceremony of the Chennai Sangamam which lent a whole different feel to the beach), but it just suddenly hit me, that I was doing something sacred giving people something they all deserve because they were born- a guru...This was one of the ways their guru- the unconditional love they were looking for was calling for them and that is the best gift anyone could give anyone else- to be an instrument for their Guru to find them.. an answer to their qustions, to thieir sorrows, their joy, their love, their life...

I figured out that that was what I was looking for too....but I always had it. I just needed to realize that... and slowly, I am.

Then, there is the Gita, I am reading the seventh Chapter now, and it is making it s presence felt in my life...Just a few pages a day..I have no idea in what way, but it lends a certain sacredness to everything, pulls you forward, makes you move on..

And then, I just want to break free, from anger, from inhibition, from the 'cant' attitude, from I can't live without, from frustration, from sorrow, from embarrassment.....And I just want to be one, with everything around me, after all, underneath, we all look for the same things...And we are one...however we may behave or seem to be...and a part of everything and everyone..

dawn again

2009-01-10T08:21:00.000-08:00

A new year !!! :) and my advanced course at the ashram was amazing. There s no better way to spend the New Year than in silence even though that might be slightly hard. And I m glad I did it. Silence at the right time, gives one strength and a chance to dive deep inside and get to know oneself, a little better.There s whole world in there that needs time to grow the right way.

My resolution: To keep myself focused in the moment and embrace it
and to wake up early ( unsuccesful, so far) but i havent given up..it s my war with the bed and I mean to win it...

I m currently reading 'The Last Lecture' by Randy Pausch (if that's the spelling) and it s wowed me :) right from the start. He says: (roughly) if you figure out that you have limited time on this planet ( we definetly do) and you are at the end of it, what you wish to contribute to others is the question to ask..what learning do you wish to share with those around you, to make their lives easier..
Randy Pausch, by the way, was a lecturer at the Carnegie Mellon University in the US before he was diagnosed with terminal cancer at the age of 30 something and delivered his last lecture, as a tradition, in this amazing way....in a book...

Like Dinesh Bhaiya says, each moment is a gift and we have to make full use of it....

2008-12-24T08:16:00.000-08:00

I read this really amazing paragraph in this book called ' The Power of Now' and it quite suddenly changed my mood. I was randomly fipping through the pages feeling extremely grumpy and lonely..when I found the page that said (in brief) that pain through anger, frustration, disappointment...or negative thoughts is like a parasite that slowly feeds on you, feeds on itself and slowly becomes you. And the only way to counter it, is to simply be aware of it.

And it will vanish..thought it might show signs of coming back, all one has to do is simply be aware of it. People have said it so many times...i ve read it so many times...but it hit me...especially Budhha's definition of enlightenment that i found on further reading....enlightenment is the state where there s no suffering...and everything there is to know about anything is all within us...this too, is something that i ve read in so many places....but this time, it hit me...

and pain and suffering are just figments of our mind...they may seem real and sometimes may be too..but only by reaching down and probing into it and having the courage to face it can only help.. the fact remains they can be overcome...because they arent real....and that s what i m figuring out...

and also there s this wonderful book called 'Seven Spiritual Laws of Success'..by Deepak Chopra .which i m too lazy to summarize now but i will :) everyone has to know about this...it will hit them sometime...if now now, when they want it to, it will ..

random poetic thoughts

2008-11-26T09:27:00.000-08:00

the grace that flows across to me
now, then and forever
in my waking dreams
in my reality

they merge into one
when i seem to realize
that reality is a dream
and dreams are but a reflection of reality

a hidden reality
that flow on and
on seamlessly, efforlessly
life is efforless

if you realize that it is a dream
but a dream where there s a choice
to wake up
to the curious sensation

of time slipping away
like sand through your fingers
let go...
let go and live

through the sunshine
through the rainbow
through the cold biting wind
and through the downpour

surrendering to that which birthed you
with a smile like the
freshly bloomed lily
in its innocence and beauty

in that purity
and that dewy freshness

and then you connect....

another poem :)

2008-11-19T05:20:00.000-08:00

will or wont, do or dont
the power still lies within me
dawn or night, ascending and alight
life still goes on without me

wandering around the nothingness
not knowing what lies ahead in the path
even as the clouds
do the eternal sunshine, swathe

eternity after eternity,
i am told that i live on forever
as i move on from oblivion to oblivion
finding ways to sever

the walls cast around my mind
so that it may find itself
and maybe the ways of the world are such
that in others, i realize that i find myself

wiping their tears
as the world deludes them of sorrow
that veiled melancholic thunderstorm
we only have to be aware of to pass through

the hearts of men are alike
they beat in unison, as they are
but one and the same
golden boughs of the ageless tree

the roots of which are hidden
though ever in sight for the seeing eyes..
of those who see beyond the veil
only through love and faith and trust

will you be able to persevere to that eternal paradise...

2008-11-09T00:34:00.000-08:00

Recently, I was at a satsang where one of the senior advanced course teachers answered our questions and she pretty much added a sense of direction to my life...My question was that we face so many situations and we keep listening to, reading and receiving 'knowledge' from the path that we are on...But how do we actually implement it ? And she answered it...and this answered pretty much every question of mine...until new questions come along. She said..whatever you feel be it thoughts, feelings, craving or attachement..greed, jealousy, anger, boredom, anything at all, just sense it, feel it, get inside yourself and find out where it is coming from...and just sense its presence, acknowledge it and it will vanish..and then, you become conscious..the base of the path...once you are conscious, you will be able to give your fullest wherever you are and play that role to the fullest...once you are conscious, a whole new world unveils itself...the dawn of what i have heard so many times 'Wake up and see, there is no misery in the world'..happens..bit-by-bit..

one other equally significant thing she said was....when you say you love someone, it s because you feel nice being with them, therefore, that love is centered around you..that is the base of every relatoinship...it s a give and take of feeling nice...But the difference is, when you love someone, rather everyone as much as you love yourself....and take care of them, as you would yourself....that s something that got me thinking...

She also said this...If you want something, go ahead and ask of it from the universe, the cosmos, god or whoever represents the divine from the bottom of your heart...and it shall be granted if in the long run, it s good for you..(my note: for the universe knows what s good for you, considering you are a part of it and life is the journey in realizing that you are a part of it...)

and this certainly makes life easier...

Through the darkness and the light

2008-10-27T22:53:00.000-07:00

A poem for a change :)

I looked up into the sky
and saw the infinity looking back,
the stars winking at me
and the clouds smiling amidst the deepest black

The moon was reveling
in the starlight, so deep
The sky - a part of them
was putting them all to sleep

As I looked on and on
into the eyes of infinity
I found everything I needed to have
solace, peace and clarity

But the sorrow lived on
tinging the clouds a mellow grey
and then the clouds were bathed in gold
as dawn came and held the fray

Even as the sun awakens from its slumber
everyday, dancing to its divine tunes
brings to us the warmth, the winter and the rains
from the rolling grasslands to the mighty dunes

And I have lived forever
And I have lived on
through my slumber and in my glory
I have only moved on

Journeying in this divine nest
that is thrown apart and asunder
by it s own forces
us the living, the snow and the thunder

of humanity, and of the unseen
We only have to know
The sun , was , is and will be
If not here, there and now

And I will look on forever
gazing into the eyes of the infinite
Until I find my answers
I will love you...through the darkness and the light

2008-10-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

I ve come to notice that we all run our lives with our own ideas and when we get stuck in these, it s almost like a quagmire .. We have so many pre conceived notions...full of what people, places and things (mainly the media) have thrown at us...which we keep collecting and storing...that after a point things just stink up...I keep wondering why cant we live life without any of these things bothering us, by just staying true to our hearts and nothing else...Then things become so effortless..almost like a dance in the rain...full of that bubbling something which which we ought to be running our lives...with that lightness...just letting go and revelling in ourselves...then we are compassionate..and we transcend discipline....and everyday I have to keep reminding myself to do the same....and I seem to brush against that something in myself which is just a witness to everything that I m doing..reminding me that nothing matters and making me wonder what is the beginning of beginnings and the end of the endings...wishing that some things never end..and wishing they would begin everyday

......

2008-10-10T11:53:00.000-07:00

It is weird when something touches you so deeply and yet you know it is not real. It is real momentarily and then disappears, like the firecrackers except that they last an entire lifetime, before you are born again like the next one that bursts spectacularly..You hope it lasts forever but it breaks your heart and then there it comes again another one....Yet finally it is just smoke...it was, it is and it will be...slowly drifting to eternity...and you try to comfort yourself with this thought until the next new year and it happens to you all over again...or the next new year...but some stay in your heart forever until your body and your mind die and fade into oblivion...ot until you realize that the new year is in you...you are the new year...and all i wish for is to enjoy every new year until i find the source of new years...with a smile...through the colour and the haze of smoke..through the dark sky...through eternity....I m in love...

love actually

2008-09-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

For quite sometime now, I have been feeling that there is something shimmering, dancing and playing deep inside me that was just there...living..and if it ever came to live through me now, then I will have lived..But, there is something , some barrier that deeply sepaarates this part of me from showing up ...my mind ...and its logic, its vices, its negativity...and whenever I do meditation, some part, a teeny-weeny part of this barrier seems to break, and I am that shimmering something...smiling and ready to serve...where nothing can touch me..and soon the gap closes...But there is still a small hole left where the 'light' leaks through....And I am sure that I will find this light, that I will let it seep through me...all it needs is just time, intensity and authencity..like a burning torch that is pure...so pure, innocent and I am the fuel to the torch...and I am the torch

STRANDS

2008-08-17T08:37:00.000-07:00

Some random observations:

When we wake up early, those few seconds of effort seem torturous, but the whole day is blissful after that. But if we yield to temptation in those few seconds, it costs a whole day or more of inconvenience and guilt....So those few seconds are the most crucial and that's how life is, the most important decisions are taken in a span of few seconds and if we listen to our conscience and fight the temptations of our mind, life becomes much easier...And it is so easy to miss that soundless voice....we ve got to REALLY listen to ourselves

Our mind is like an unmagnetized piece of iron, with thoughts like the iron molecules scattered everywhere and once it is magnetized, the molecules are aligned in one direction or the mind is perfectly focussed, that s when we live life...But the process of magnetization is the step-hard or easy through whatever path we choose to take, those few seconds of non-yielding to temptation may make all the difference

And none of this can matter at all...Who really knows?Only the desire to change it can tell...Nothing else...

JUDGEMENT!!

2008-08-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

The other day, I was watching Guruji's commentary on the Narada Bhakti Sutras and something which he said really struck me:
(Not in his words- but the essence of it)
Maya means that which is measurable and all the things in this world are measurable...But that is not real..because, measurement is relative- what weighs 40kgs here, will weigh only around 20 kgs (forgive my calculations here, I have forgotten my Physics after leaving school) on the moon and it will be weightless in space..SO our measurements are not real...

Then, when we judge people, we are only measuring them, then HOW can they be real? What you judge of a person, is not a person.. They are not their qualities, they just are ( I leave it blank, Guruji knows, all of us who know Guruji, have learnt it from him, but do not KNOW it yet, as we are yet to experience it at its fullest...which we will and those who do not, just do the course mail in to ask how :) cause I presume you want to know who your own selves are ...

So watch your mind, it is quite an interesting thing to do, capable of engaging you for a long time and with interesting results too as I have experienced :) might explain my periods of silence ..one emerges a new person when one does that..and when you find yourself judging, know that none of it is real.. one does not even know oneself, how can one know others??

An account of Ashtavakra

2008-08-13T09:37:00.000-07:00

This is a story, rather historical account of an enlightened soul...It is one of the most beautiful accounts of something that has been spoken about..And this can change our lives, if only we ponder over and be aware of the depths of it.

Ashtavakra

There have been cases on record: one very great mystic of India – I have spoken on him for almost half a year continuously. His name was Ashtavakra. And what he has written is tremendously important; each sentence has so many dimensions to be explored, but the man himself was in a very difficult situation.

Ashtavakra – the name was given to him, because he was almost like a camel. In eight places he was distorted in the body – one leg was longer, one arm was shorter, his back was bent – in eight places he was distorted. That’s how he was born, with a crippled, distorted body. But even in a crippled and distorted body the soul is as beautiful as in the most beautiful body.

He became enlightened, but his body was too rigid to change with his inner change. His eyes started showing something of the beauty, but the whole body was in such a mess.The story is that the emperor of India in those days was Janak and he was very much interestedin philosophical discussions. Each year he used to call a big conference of all the scholars,philosophers, theologians or whoever wanted to participate. It was a championship competition.

One very famous philosopher, Yagnavalkya came a little late. The conference had started and he saw standing outside one thousand beautiful cows. Their horns were covered with gold anddiamonds. This was going to be the prize for the champion. It was a hot day and the cows were perspiring.

He told his disciples, ”You take these cows. As far as winning the competition is concerned, I am certain. Why should the cows suffer here? You take them to our place.” They had their own place in the forest.

Even Janak could not prevent him, because he knew that he had been the champion continuously for five years, and he would be the champion this time, because there was nobody else who could defeat him. It is not right to take the reward before you have won, but his victory was so certain to everybody that nobody objected. And his disciples took away all the cows.

While Yagnavalkya was discussing, a very unknown scholar was also present in the conference. Ashtavakra was this unknown philosopher’s son. His mother was waiting for her husband to come home. It was getting late and the meal was getting cold. So she sent Ashtavakra to bring his father home, because he could not win the competition. Why should he unnecessarily waste his time? He was a poor scholar and there were great scholars there. Ashtavakra went. There were at least one thousand people in the conference, the highly cultured and sophisticated scholars of the country.

As Ashtavakra entered, looking at his distorted body they all started laughing. But Ashtavakra was a man of tremendous integrity. As they started laughing, he laughed even louder. Because of his loud laugh they stopped. They could not believe that he was laughing.

Janak asked him, ”I can understand why they are laughing – because of your body; but I cannot understand why you are laughing. And you stopped all their laughing with your laughter.” A single man stopped one thousand people’s laughter.Ashtavakra said to Janak, ”I thought this conference was for scholars and philosophers, but these are all shoemakers. They can understand only the skin. They cannot see the inner, they can only see the outer.”

There was a great silence. What he was saying had a great truth in it. Janak dissolved theconference and said, ”Now I would like to inquire of Ashtavakra only. He has defeated you all just by his laughter and his statement that, ‘You can’t see the inner, you can only see the outer; you are all shoemakers.’ Shoemakers work with the skin of different animals. I dissolve the conference and, Yagnavalka, return those one thousand cows, because you also laughed. And when Ashtavakra laughed, you also stopped!”

It was a very strange situation; it had never happened before. And then began the long inquiry of Janak, the emperor. He asked questions and Ashtavakra answered them. Each answer in itself carried so much meaning and significance.

Because his body was in such a bad shape he could not get identified with it. Sometimes blessings come in such disguise. He could not go out, because wherever he went people would laugh, ”Look at that man! Have you seen anything uglier than this?”

So most of the time he was in the house, meditating, figuring out, ”Who am I? Certainly I am not this body, because I can be aware of this body, I can observe this body from within. Certainly that awareness has to be different from the body.”

Because of his crippled body he experienced enlightenment. The only barrier is identification with the body. But he could not identify, the body was so ugly. He never looked in a mirror; it would have been such a shock.

But Yagnavalkya had to return those one thousand cows to Ashtavakra’s house. He was young and he defeated one thousand old philosophers, well-versed in the ancient scriptures.

It is one of the strangest things in this country that on every book written by any prominent mystic there have been hundreds of commentaries, but nobody has commented before me on Ashtavakra. And he must be at least five thousand years old. For five thousand years nobody has bothered to look into his statements, which are so significant.

But his inner enlightenment, his inner understanding could not change his outer appearance. And yet for those who are going deeper into themselves, the outer does not matter. They would have seen even in Ashtavakra tremendous beauty, but it would not have been of the outer circumference, but of the center.Most often the inner change changes the outer, if the outer is not too rigid. But the outer never changes the inner.

You need to have eyes, going deep into people’s beings, which is possible only if you are going inwards yourself. The deeper you go into yourself the deeper you can look into other people’s beings. And then a totally new world opens its doors.

SOME THINKING

2008-08-04T11:12:00.000-07:00

One of Newton's laws says (roughly) that an object continues to remain in its state of rest or uniform motion unless an external force acts upon it... I think this holds in the following way:
That in places like the ashram,we are at our natural selves, uniform state of rest and happiness and where we experiences forces like Guru Tatva that produces positive acceleration -towards our 'source'- to which all of us are knowingly or unknowingly moving
When we come to the outside world, negative external forces pull us down, slowing down our rate of acceleration and with our sadhana, we move forward at a considerably slower rate which to which more positive forces like seva and satsang add up... :)

All these negative forces don't let us be ourselves-be it desire, greed, ambition, anger...frustration...all these are not us, cause when we are comfortable and away from them, we want or play, laugh, have fun and do whatever we do back in the ashram.. Everybody faces glow and charm the other faces around

But in the 'real world', these negative forces overcome us and we start to think that they are us...But as we meditate and do kriya, we get the energy to realize them and handle them, hence the peace and the charm are back, but it's more difficult around here, unless you keep increasing and sustaining the meditation exponentially..

This is something I realized and this does not come easy...Handling them is an 'art' in itself and takes courage and strength..

True Love (in the romantic sense) is not experienced truly unless you are in that stable state...it does for a few...There is absolutely no point looking for it - it simply wont work that way, it has to happen, otherwise it will be fake and short-lived not to mention painful....and totally unnecessary

On the other hand, it gives us time to focus on what we truly are and why we are and so on..Who knows even if we do that, we might find yet another puzzle to solve maybe in a new universe which will take even more millions of lifetimes to find. And we wont know unless we crack this...and even thinking of this takes so long...
And yea, I guess it helps if in love there is a higher goal...That's when the love has full chances of survival...But then who knows, love might be just a ruse for progeny of species..Still..it feels good..in every little way (when it happens and if it does )

But for all eternity, it is Guruji for me, whether I sometimes forget or not ...He's the only one who is ALWAYS there, in his own mysterious ways... And I love him for that

To Me, To Me meaning to you too

2008-07-29T10:24:00.000-07:00

Here are a list of things that bother me to no end and like Fulghum (Pronounced Ful-jhum) says in his book 'Maybe (Maybe Not)', it is the bull (El-Torro) that starts to stampede its way towards me and I am that matador standing silently watching him come towards me, only till now I was squirming and if I really had been a matador, I would have have been run over with the bull pouting smoke in triumph now...Anyways getting to the point, I wanna get over why I felt so bad and start my training to be an expert matador..Here goes:

1) I have this block against talking to people when I am supposed to because in my mind I feel I am not connecting to them, I don't feel good about talking, mixing, interacting, etc...unless I am in my element ...a rare occurrence until now, because as this Yes Plus has taught me again and again and so on..., NOW is when you decide to change and NOW is happening, NOW is constant, so I have changed...And my people skills will improve :)

2) I never felt good about myself...For sure lucky and grateful for what I have got, but never proud of who I am..So now, appreciation..a pat on the back for everything I have learnt (and implemented) and there it ends

3) Ego----- EGO...The separation from the things around me , the lack of belongingness..in short the wall I built saying 'Why should I??'..or 'How does it matter?'...I have NOW broken that wall..

4) Faith..The faith in what I do, therefore the passion and therefore my best efforts..in every small things, not 'The God of Small Things' but THE GOD IN SMALL THINGS

5) Attention seeking.....Now it's gone

I hereby promise to leave my COMFORT ZONE and venture forth into the world of CHALLENGES...Doing unto my capability what I thought I could not...

With Love
ME to infinity and love

What can one really say??

2008-07-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

Well today, I was having some choco-nut gelato and just contemplating on why people still use plastic and what is one really supposed to DO when it is thrust into one's hands or one cant help but use it..Anyway, it suddenly hit me that maybe the purpose of life is to find the purpose of life...?? What else can it be?? And the other side says just shut up and go on with your seva, sadhana and satsang...But it just comes and with time most of the answers do too, somehow....And i figured, all I sometimes really want to do is seva- even as a profession...and be there doing it all my life...at the feet of my Guru- that s the most important part..

life

2008-07-12T00:17:00.000-07:00

I have been reading this book called Uh-Oh- some observations from both sides of the refrigerator door (or something like that)..By Robert Fulghum and I can say that its one of the most influential books i have ever read... He doesnt preach, he doesnt just describe, he communicates and it hits you.. And all it has is just his experiences and observations about people and life.. I m not too much of a reviewer, so that s all I will say now . But it is a must read for everybody in the world, just to take time off for themselves and reflect on the life they have been living and not realizing they re alive... Well I guess you could say it was the same for me, but now I m getting there and still not living yet. Why? because I found that it is easier said than done and all along the mind plays so many tricks on us to get out of what it has to do even though it wants to do it and that feeling of dissatisfaction of not doing what you set out to do is one of the worst things on Planet Earth among the so many other mindless things that happen.. And unlike just hanging out in some sophisticate fish-market like a crowded coffee day, life gets filed with color sitting with a group of friends who have no judgements and strumming the guitar with some warm singing :) in a breezy terrace with a view of the Adyar River... or a game of chess with one of your old friends, a can of ginger beer nearby...Nothing better

For exercise, I suggest some tree plantation wherever possible. I was feeling bad about having not done much work on account of my fear of butterflies this Saturday Morning in the backyard of a church...But I am happy I took time off and went and I will go again ,and again, till I feel I ve given my best and then do some more ...(and hopefully gotten rid of some more mindless fears)..after all what is to fear, death may come calling anytime and you dont wanna die thinking you were scared of butterflies..

PS The pic is of me and Katya (my friend whos in Blore) at the tree plantation venue last week..I did more work then ...cause there were lesser butterflies..

PPS I know you re laughing..but well its me and I m slowly getting over the fear I guess ..

One of my angels and one of my profiles

2008-07-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

This is one of my first profiles and who better to write it about than Diya? Profiles are basically articles about anything, person or place focusing only that particular thing,person or place....and Diya is certainly someone you should not miss out on...She's such a bundle of joy :)

A TRIBUTE TO THE CHILD OF THE RIVER

“Next term onwards, you will not call me OK? Just send me letters..” Only someone like Diya, my best friend can come up with something like that. She goes on to tell me that she’s told her parents to call her at hostel once a week only and send her letters instead. Her aim here is to see how it feels to be cut-off from ‘Idiot Boxes’, telephones, networking online and actually experience the heart-to-heart communication that happens with a no-nonsense (sans the superficial Wazzups, What you uptos and the like) , much more meaningful letter. Much more expansion in one’s mind and soul, she feels, happens this way,

Characterized by a round visage, creamy-fair complexion and deep, twinkling, beetle-black eyes, she is of average build and is gifted with the hands of a creator with an equally creative mind, having been born to an artist-turned ad-designer father, Her house is tastefully decorated with Australian Pine wood, comfortable Mahogany chairs and adorned with ethnic accessories and large paintings. Enter her room and you will find it filled with useful and decorative knick-knacks made by her.

Diya is a deep, intelligent soul, ever-bubbly( with the innocence of a baby) yet extremely matured, self-contained and eternally happy. She’s one of those people as my English teacher put it ‘makes silence feel as comfortable as any conversation’ and whenever we have conversations, they turn out to be discussions on psychology, why some things are done and some are not, why is whatever is happening- happening or admiring some creation of the world or some observation on the world. She is also one of those with a calm disposition and never loses that state, which is almost meditative with regard to whatever she does.

Apart from being a connoisseur of art, she is also a ‘connoisseur’ of food. Every visit to her house entails a new dish, most often her brainchild or simply a scrumptious dessert. In her own way, she is spiritual and has a deep understanding of why people do what they do or why things happen as they do.. Yet she can’t sit down to do things like studying from a text book but is like a child playing in the garden, exploring and learning and playing with the greatest care and attention, joy and enthusiasm. This quality of hers combined with her calm nature saves her from sinking into muddy waters.

Having no regrets, qualms or too many expectations only makes her even more special to those who know her, also making her stand out in a classroom full of chattering people where she will be one of the few who are completely at ease and among the most frank. You will almost always find her working some kind of magic with her fingers or simply basking in the environment.

Sometimes she can be upset by something wherein she'll complain for a while and ask you to go away ( nowadays she asks you to cheer her up- a good sign), but she'll be back a while later, sidling her arm into yours and both of you start humming a soulful song. To me it sounds like the symphony of a river bubbling away and flowing along merrily, sometimes calm and deep and sometimes foamy, moving to the tunes of Mother Nature. That’s who Diya is, with her simplicity, her wisps of short, curly hair flying in the breeze during our sojourns in my flattering terrace and wearing a pleasing smile (for so many things) and I love her exactly for the who she is..A teacher, a friend and a companion and a connection..

le premier foi (if that's what it is)-it should mean, 'the first time' in French

2008-06-30T10:11:00.000-07:00

Well finally I ve landed myself in the Blogger's list..and I don't know what to write...But one thing I did notice is that most blogs are black... Wonder why? And there really is no point point wondering about silly things like these when you can wonder about bigger questions in life- like why you were born , which brings you back to square one and you start wishing you would have rather wondered about silly things rather than wonder about the bigger things wondering why you started wondering in the first place... This is a peek into what my mind used to be like...and thankfully it had reduced a great deal with all the kriya... Oh Btw, once you start wondering about why you were born, who created the world, who created the creator of the world and who created the creator of the creator and so on...it sticks on and prods you to find out more which is why I am where I currently am.Well what I have learnt is that these things simply are- like the sun is...There is no point wondering who put it there...the point is he put it there and it helps ( in an understatement) and we just accept it and move on to other bigger things...this applies to everything only they re harder to accept than the fact that the sun is there (which we dont notice until the beads of perspiration combine to form an ocean and drench you, in turn fuelling petrol costs as people employ the nearest means of transport to escape) Maybe that's why there s a petrol bunk strike here..This may do good as people might understand the value of petrol and start being more cautious?? Maybe

Ok getting to the point..what can one really do about inflation?
Impose tax cuts? find alternative fuel? the least one can do is car-pool or walk down to nearby places as often as possible...Out of experience, I have found out that public transport is impossible to use in Chennai, even worse if it rains.. What will people do if all the petrol in the world runs out?? How do Hybrid cars work here?...Homework for the next post :)